Tam’s Response Unit Q&A

Here, ah’m gawnae knock together a wee feedback video. S’called “Tam’s Response Unit”. Post yir questions and ah might answer thum!

Superchib’s TNG guide - part four

Awright troops! Ahm pure turnin intae one ay yon “Treckies”. Here’s the last episodes aff series wan…

21 The Arsenal of Freedom

There’s a holigraph sellin weapons and they’re the best ay gear. So guid evrybidy nearly gets killed

22 Symbiosis

You think this is aboot alien stuff cried “felatium” but it’s actually aboot the drugs. Subtle as fuck

23 Skin of Evil

Nae spoil-yirs, but hankies oot. Somebody ends up pan breid. Dinnae get excited but - it’s no Wesley

24 We’ll Always Have Paris

Picerd meets a burd he once dingied. Time starts goin mental and folk see themsels in the past, but no that far back, so it’s probly awright

25 Conspiracy

Folk are gettin spammed wi parisites. Rikker finds a man riddled wi them and blows the shite oot him. YAS!

26 The Neutral Zone

The crew meet the Romulens and defrost some folk fae the eighties. One starts gie’in lip so Picerd gets him telt

Right, that’s me away tae annoy big Tam fir another vidja boaxset. Catch yis efter!

Superchib’s TNG guide - part 3

Gettin right intae they Star Trecks noo! Here’s some mair episodes aff season wan…

13 Datalore

Deta gets a brother but it turns out he is a pure dick

14 Angel One

There’s a planet wi lassies runnin the show and they get Rikker terted up fur a winch. He disnae complain but

15 11001001

It’s Rikker’s day aff, so he goes tae the holideck in search of his nat king. Picerd talks french and cockblocks him a dullion

16 Too Short a Season

The crew learn a lesson - dinnae trust auld folk

17 When the Bough Breaks

Even though he pure hates them, Picerd tries tae save the enterpirise weans. Including Wesly (ah widnae have botherd ma airse)

18 Home Soil

There’s a crystal in it that’s a “senchint being”. Seems everyhins alive oan the star trecks… watchin yi. Ah couldnae go that masel

19 Coming of Age

Wesly fails his exams. Whit a dobber.

20 Heart of Glory

Warf meets mair Cling-Oans and we aw know whit that means - hunners ay ROARIN and FIGHTAN! Fuckin YALDI!!!

Right, that’s me away tae check the internets for Cling-oan gear. Best chibs in the galaxy and their boots are fuckin minted!

Superchib’s TNG Guide - part 2

Awright fanjos - youse after mair Star Trecks? Oan we boldy go with season wan…

6 Where No One Has Gone Before

The crew get lost and start seein hings. Picerd has tea wi his deid maw and Warf gies his targ a wee clap (that’s a Cling-oan pet by the way, yi dirty-minded shites!)

7 Lonely Among Us

Picerd and the crew get possessed like that lassie oot “the excersist” except naebody starts firin green spew

8 Justice

The crew land oan a planet of blonde shaggin queerhawks. Wesley nearly gets killed for disturbin some plants. Fud

9 The Battle

Picerd gets his auld ship back but ends up gettin a sair heid and goin doolally 

10 Hide & Q

Rikker gets tae be a Q. He tries tae gie his pals presents, like burds or the ability tae see, but the ungrateful shites want nane 

11 Haven

Troy’s gettin merried (awkward, seein how she pumped Rikker) and the whole crew’s got her mad faimly tae put up wi

12 The Big Goodbye

Picerd gets bored so he takes his pals up the holideck tae play gangsters

Wish ah had a holideck. Jist hink, yi could go anywhere in world, any time in histry… there’s bound tae be a right guid rammy somewhere! See yis!

Superchib’s guide to TNG: part 1

The Star Trecks

Wee yin’s log, sterdate 16492… wis slaggin big Tam McGleish for watchin aw they pishy programmes where bufties cut aboot in spaceships. He went raj, flung a vidja boaxset at ma napper and telt me tae away and git masel ”edjicated”. So I starts watchin it for a laugh, but know whit? They “star trecks” are right guid!

So whit’s it aboot? At first I thought it was just talkin (there’s HUNNERS ay talkin by the way), but NAW - there’s FIGHTAN, SHOOTAN and even PUMPIN (yi dinnae see the pumpin but) Even the talkin gets guid cos the patter’s pure braw.

Awright troops, here we go. Or as they say oan the trecks - INGAGE!!!

Wur Crew

Captain Picerd
Head honcho of the enterpirise, so dinnae mess! Likes tea and pure hates weans

Commandar Rikker
Gets cried “number wan” - haud oan, how’s Picerd no number wan? Anyway, this guy’s smirks like he’s either nursing a semi or just had a chug (cannae tell which)

Jordy Leforge
Cannae see, but that disnae stoap him drivin the spaceship. Mebbe it’s so the enterpirise can get a disabled sticker

Tesha Yar
Her job is tae knock fuck oot anyhin “hoastile”. She’s guid at it an aw!

Warf
AH PURE LOVE THIS GUY!!! He’s a “Cling-Oan” and they stoat aboot space batterin folk. You’d die if he pumped yi

Doacter Beverly Crasher
Keeps trying tae fire intae Picerd - boundaries hen, mind that’s yir caiptain! Feel sorry for her cause her man’s deid and she’s stuck wi a wee fanjo son

Coonsler Troy
See this burd? She’s meant tae read minds, or feelins, or sum’hin but ah hink she’s havin evrybdy oan. By the way, she definitely pumped Rikker (ah kin tell these hings)

Mister Deta
A robot (sorry - ”anderoid”) wi a full working boaby. Dead brainy but cannae use contraptions like “can’t” and “dinnae”. Says them anyway but

Wesley Crasher
A dobber 

Series Wan - episodes

1 & 2 Encounter at Farpoint

Ever’hin kicks aff! Mind and watch baith parts tae familurise yersel wi the set up and see the massive space jellyfish. Sorry, *spoil-yirs*

3 The Naked Now

Everyone goes daft and starts firing intae each other. Deta gets pumped aff Tesha

4 Code of Honour

Tesha knocks fuck oot some burd. Oan yersel hen!

5 The Last Outpost

The crew meet the Ferengies, who are right ugly bastirts. Deta gets his hauns stuck in a toy

That’s me away noo, Superchib oot

Feedback time: new Gamewank episode

Hiya, so the summer break is over and Jim and Ric can finally bear to be in the same room as each other following their epic week-long E3 extravaganza.

The guys will be recording a new episode tomorrow evening so send in your comments, feedback or tell us what games you’ve been playing this summer by clicking on the ’ask us anything’ button at the side there. Or if you prefer you can ask us via the Gamewank Facebook page (hit ‘Like’ too please).

You can also send your questions direct to Jim and Ric on Twitter:

Jim - @gamewank_jim

Ric - @laslo_panaflex